Linking Michael Kitchen’s lines and quotes to the posts.
How can I let you leave?
Don’t really need to, um, go on, do I?
This is very difficult.
Princes never carry money.
All right. That’s enough. That’s enough.
Well done, Sam.
I came specifically to see you.
You stop believing that, and we might as well not be fighting a war.
Then I shall make the lightest, fluffiest, most delicious omelets you have ever tasted.
And your considered view is that Agamemnon of Aeschylus is muck?
We should take a closer look at him.
You know, the more I play this game, the worse I seem to get.
Don’t do anything daft.
I’m sorry. I don’t know your surname.
A donation, perhaps? One of the refugee funds?
Why bother to ask me questions if you’re not going to listen?
I expect they’ve always been opened for you.
You’d like me to say a little prayer.
I’m just interested in why you’re here.
And it was an oleander.
Give us another chance, sir.
It’s the talking that gets you in the end.
It feels like standing on the edge of the world.
You’re sure it was suicide?
I don’t usually talk.
However, I’m richer, and you’re happier…
Fowler. Not Foyle.
You drive off, you’re gonna kill me.
What’s the cure?
…if there’s anything I can do to help.
Well, it was something with four wheels and an engine.
I found out that my wife has been having an affair with my best friend.
I regret what happened.
It was in the museum.
And I wanted to celebrate tonight ’cause it’s the most I’ve loved her.
No, you were lying.
She broke my heart.
Fat chance of that this evening.
That, um, Douglas fellow?
That’s a nice dress.
Do you fish?
That was a really good idea, wasn’t it?
Yes, again. If you don’t mind.
What a good idea.
The sooner, the better.
What’s going on?
Think I quite enjoyed that.
Well, I really don’t know.
Are you feeling any better?
Pointless to destroy what we’re trying to protect, wouldn’t you say?
Does no one ever read these things?
God, what a dreadful woman!
A good work of art tends to move me.
I know I’m a bit flaky, but I’m not deluded.
And as if Hitler wasn’t enough, we’ve got the likes of you.
Actually, uh, you’re cuttin’ my circulation off.
Would you like to come to tea?
Well, you’re a bloody liar, but you’ll come anyway.
Everything I have told you is true. In essence.
So the place didn’t fall apart in my absence?
But I thought you wanted to get rid of the blacks.
Good evening, Niece.
‘though I don’t think you’re going to realize quite how exciting this is.
I love you. I love nature. I love God. I love my country and my Queen.
My brain would turn soft.
Oh, as many as that?
If I may be frank with you…
That was the Essential Collection, not a Greatest Hits.
Anybody finds out about this, we are totally fucked.
You know the rules. We don’t work with offspring.
Fan’s here. Shit’s about here. I’m just in the process of tryin’ to stop one hittin’ the other.
Yes. If you say so.
I knew her.
That’s not a poodle!
Can I look inside, please?
Bis dat, qui cito dat.
I’m, uh, told the fair sex fall for me.
I made you.
…I’d be happy to show him my medal from de Gaulle.
That’s insulting my intelligence.
They use different rules.
You’re a monster.
Do you know Schubert?
How would you like to justify it?
Some people think that’s all gonna to change now.
And I am innocent of this charge.
If I was ten years younger.
Remind me to install a moat and drawbridge, will you?
Do you feel they’d sooner vote for someone who lies?
Don’t fucking “darling” me, old love.
If it’s all that cozy domesticity stuff, it isn’t me.
You mean, eat the evidence?
How could you?
Do you often ask men on trains home with you?
He can fart and smile at the same time…
Well, murder’s still a crime as far as I’m aware.
Decimal point. Boing, boing, boing.
Where did you get your opinion of men?
Well, do go ahead.
I will not be showing another collection.
I thought we were going to Le Meurice.
There’s a simple remedy for lustful dreams.
You’re all taking it very much for granted that it is a painter I am going to be.
I’m afraid it was him who killed her.
Hugh Jackson, uh, a violent man?
Uh, er, are you sure?
The subject’s off limits.
Oh, these eclipses do portend these divisions.
To both these sisters have I sworn my love.
That’s because, um, I’m his father.
The last temptation of Christine.
Are you frightened of me?
Can’t go anywhere without you.
And very possible most of the time, I seem to remember.
I’d like you to ask him to wait.
I want to be transferred.
Make it a practice of involving yourself in the private lives of people on your rounds?
Well, how many Hildas do you and I know?
But the train is about to leave.
Your analysis is utterly inappropriate.
I’ll stroll down.
That’s democracy for you.
Thank you for agreeing to see me anyway.
Bit of a grisly job, eh?
Well, you scared me.
I’m sorry I can’t tell you what you want to hear.
…because we, uh, care about you.
So you can do what exactly?
…you have an extraordinary sense of smell.
Fur, teeth, tail, etcetera?
When would you prefer he died? …I thought I was bad enough, but you take the fucking biscuit.
What do you mean “boyfriend”?
The paper in the bedroom. I don’t like it.
Are you talking to me?
The stamp is…?
That’s what’s known as a good idea.
I came into the church alone out of respect. For the church, that is.
He’s not that imaginative.
Would they love me at first sight?
Well, the very best to both of you, whatever she decides.
Always know your enemy.
Does this have anything to do with your father?
I can’t do this bloody, godforsaken job on my own.
I liberated it.
I’m a police officer.
The irrestible attraction of intellect.
You’re not escaping justice. Merely postponing it. Au revoir.
Well, I never actually ever at any time said I couldn’t drive.
Thee will I love and with thee lead my life.
Come, Dromio. Let us go.
Paid for the termination. That’s the least we could do.
Get out there and en-fucking-joy yourselves.
You could, um, keep your mouth shut and stay out of trouble.
Well, I’m just doing my bit for Anglo-American relations.
This is a rock biography, not a relaxation tape.
This is the Thotch Russian Doll Collector’s Edition.
Get me on it.
Pat’s got dementia.
That’s very generous, Richard.
I haven’t had a fax for twenty fuckin’ years, mate.
Fuck off, please.
Waving goodbye to your kneecaps.
And very glad you’re back.
And he was feckless.
People take an immediate shine to me. ‘specially women.
Your justice, perhaps. Not mine.
Is there olive oil at your place?
We’ll have to do an MUA.
You perverted the course of justice.
There’s that, too.
I paralyze people. I’m human.
Kissing isn’t something you think about.
Twice in six months at your urgent invitation.
It’s a classic Iron Blue.
What the hell are you doing?
Screwing you! Screwing me!
But of course you know all of this, don’t you?
You’ll need a good chat, then.
Bob, haven’t I got a motorcar?
I do believe you’re frightened of me, Mr. Urquhart.
I’m not a bloody fool, man!
What the fuck is fedge?
But my real love is the oboe.
Well, I think you’ll fit in very well at San Salvatore.
Would you like to help me push?
But it’s absolutely no excuse for being thoroughly boorish and totally bloody rude, frankly.
Gross dereliction of duty.
It’s very hard losing your dad like that.
There has been an indiscretion.
The cupboard is bare.
I don’t think. Unless I’m paid.
That’s why you’re… isn’t it?
No. Just- just, um- from- from the beginning.
It’s the very bloody LEAST I could do!
I kept forgettin’ words like “Thursday” and “customer”.
It’s “let slip the dogs of war”.
I’d stick with him if I were you.
Don’t let him down.
Pregnant Without Permission.
The sergeant is a terrible driver.
Sorry. Can’t help you. No longer work here.
I think you’re wearing her perfume.
Are you taking your quinine?
What would you have done?
Is there a conclusion?
I’ll put that on my list of pointless things to do this week.
Aren’t you going to say goodbye?
They’re all fucking impossible.
You mean eat the evidence?
That’s not quite what I asked, is it?
Please don’t bother me with trivia!
I used the, uh, random system, Sergeant.
Please don’t let me regret it.
Well, just glad you saw it, um, my way.
Do I still have the room?
Any of you seen, um, Barbara Hicks?
Steady on, Miss Stewart.
May I call on you at the Brightlingseas?
I don’t think there’s any such thing as a girl who can’t stand the sight of flowers, is there?
What do you want one of them for?
It was shit.
Yeah, it’s a lot more fun, then.
Forgive me if I don’t treat this in quite the flippant sort of manner that you seem to want to.
Murder is murder.
Not much of a day for you.
Oh, cinnamon and spice ain’t half so nice as giving a girlie the right sort of whirlie.
The necklace says “I love you.”
I will never forget that little glimpse I’ve just had of you.
Forgot my hat.
You can call me “sir”.
You’re a natural.
I’d need a driver.
We get to make up in a sexual frenzy.
We’re here strictly professionally, aren’t we?
What reputation is that?
In the same sort of way you’re harrassing me?
Sacrificing something, Dr. Fletcher?
I’m standing on a box.
This is a damned unsatisfactory holiday.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you really my son?
I didn’t suspect you.
Don’t be silly.
Thirdly, I- I- I love you.
I want to be sure how you feel about the situation.
Not that I’m aware of.
Just never underestimate the intelligence of a trout.
What do you want me to use? Pigeons?
Blow it out, will you?
Would you be able to convey this to him at your earliest opportunity?
Well, it’s a bit early for me.
To, uh, help the war effort?
How long would this talk have to be?
I have a son the same age.
Stay the night.
You mean you immobilized it.
That’s Madame de Sévigné.
Well, nothing is for nothing. What do you expect?
Get it yourself.
Do you not trust me?
Most men don’t know how to treat a woman.
I’d rather like to know which idiot suspended me.
Madam, Her Highness the Princess smells.
I have no intention of sharing either.
Just shoot him in the bath.
If you intend to spend the rest of the war in bed weaving raffia baskets…
Learn to handle women…
I can’t just wave you off, can I?
Pick a subject.
And I do hope that you find somebody who deserves you.
Piss off, you fat prat.
You dare to threaten me?
Eat your chicken like a good girl.
Even the remote possibility of losing you was more than…
What does “accidentally” mean?
I haven’t got the requisite capacity for deceit.
Nice to be wanted.
Genius works in mysterious ways.
Yeah, but you were how old?
You’d like me now. Honest.
Listen! Tommy! Steady!
Were not my doors lock’d up and I shut out?
Perhaps I prefer someone else.
Do I sense, um, the beginning of a negotiation?
Well, you may not have noticed, but I’m rather short-sighted.
I’m not here to stay the night.
Adopt the instincts of a mother, Mrs. Leeford, and follow your son.
Oh, well, some people come down to London.
Do beg your pardon. Should have knocked.
I mean, if you can do shorthand, why aren’t we using your shorthand?
Well, I’m very pleased to hear it.
Have you ever been to prison?
Leave the bloody tea.
I need a number for Noel Coward.
You’re an actor, aren’t you?
I’m awfully sorry, but it is necessary.
I just want it to be like it was.
…I’m going to blow the little bugger’s head off.
What? In this lot?
It’s too bad the evil Queen of Numbers won’t let you play it.
Beats me how you can be jealous of me.
Want me to go away?
I’m gonna piss in his pond.
Have a nice day, darling.
Look after yourself.
We’re roughly about the same sort of size.
I imagine you’re rather careful about the company you keep…
I beg your pardon.
Ten minutes alone with him?
Older women are best.
It’ll depend on who wins, I suppose.
It’s, um, very unusual for, um, a ranking officer to be assigned, uh, a driver from outside the force.
What have I done?
…immoral, improper, and downright disgusting.
Let’s hope they’re all like that.
When I have to.
She was alive?
Perfectly understandable error.
Well, frankly, I’d say there’s no perhaps about it.
I’ve just gone through two red lights.
I hope for your sake you’re just faking thick.
I need a phone.
This, um, is my daughter.
Up and down.
He did what?
I was nearly arrested because of you.
Back in a second.
I’m very sorry, but I want to sit here, and I’m going to.
I could have eaten it already.
I won’t lie for you.
No idea you had such a wide circle.
You’re looking very, um…
Losing her changed nothing. Marrying her changed everything.
Is there really anything to be said?
Now you tell me.
So I have a vastly higher opinion of women than, uh, you do of men.
Uh, just trying to use the bathroom.
Where did you get your opinion of men?
Does that mean you’re thinking?
I think we should get something straight right from the beginning.
When were you ever interested in politics?
I don’t think there’s any such thing as a girl who can’t stand the sight of flowers, is there?
Well, you think I’d tell you?
You weren’t very kind to her.
I didn’t know that.
Well, the Foyles always have been hard to resist.
I’m gonna walk home.
Well, yeah, she’s my, uh, very attractive driver…
You’re not interested in women, are you, Rex?
…carry on for him.
Do you love this girl?
You can’t sleep here!
I mean, how would you feel if I resigned?
I’m, therefore, offering you my resignation effective as of now.
I’m being cared for properly.
A few more days, I’m startin’ a rumor – syphillis.
I do showers.
I can’t bear the thought of cooking for myself again.
I deserved that.
Thought you might like these.
That would be Sir Charles.
The Synchromesh Gearbox.
Hello, I’m Michael Kitchen.
My eldest and I play once a year and we’ve never had enough balls to get around.
I’m not terribly keen on costume drama as a rule.
Devoted, hard working and generous in a single minded, self centered, naïve, neurotic kind of way: a bit like me.
I can’t believe I’ll act until I fall into the grave.
Never fallen in….. which is now, of course, about to change.
A poppy hangs in my car 365 days a year.
I’m not like that, honestly I’m charming and decent really.
Fitted is now in his GCSE year, and Farmhouse is currently in second-year prep.
I always imagined you could achieve a successful acting career without parties. So far, so good.
It’s probably goodbye to the fan base – I can’t see either of them approving of this.
If I think about world affairs, I get depressed. So it is best for me not to — just to go on with my music and acting, and try to be a bit better at both.